Monday, August 30

Reading Fest is over, let the reviews begin!

Monday morning, cold and wet. The wind was blowing the curtians and my bedroom was freezing. It took only a few seconds of thought to realise that my girlfriend was still in nottingham, and that i was at home, cold, in my bed. The alarm clock went off with its normal Cockadoodledo sound and i jumpped out of bed, the same way i had so many times before.

Except this time, i didn't need to. I had nothing to do, no where to go, no one to see. Its been a strange day, so cold. I deicded to walk up the bank and get my bank book, then i remmebered that the bank was closed, as i was standing outside. The wind was cutting me to the bone, so cold.

I had already decided that i wasn't going to work. I dont need the money (as i can't get to it anyway) and it was a bank holiday, meaning it would be stupidly busy. When i phoned up i got the normal "nag" and then its done, no more work for today.
I can hear various sounds throughout the house, i think my dad came home, maybe my sister is making some food. Im never hungry, but always needing to eat.

I've only ever gone to a few festivals, and when i do eventually go, ill have to make sure its not for the music. As i know, that there is so many people, it means i think that the music becomes almost diluted?. I dont know but i tend to like the bands with a more personal feel.... My Ruin being a perfect example. When i saw them in birmingham, we saw them outside (even if i did have ash / chicken in my eye). They were just normal people, no giant crowd cheering them on, nothing weird at all about them. And then, when they did their stuff, it was so much more than any band thats proforming to thousands of people, because they can hear the indivual screams, shouts and pain of their fans. I got to touch tarri b twice. That i wont be forgetting.

But how ever, i hope everyone in reading enjoyed them selfs, im sure my brother will be home at somepoint today. No doubt smelly and dirty too =D.

Mood: Undecided
Currently Listening to: Radio 1?
Word of the day: Super

-= Djsmiley! =- Mail me! //

Friday, August 27

First day on the P-Rock radio, played some nice songs, oldish mostly. Bit of queen, bit of paparoach.

my brother is in reading, i hope hes enjoying him self. But i know for SURE that he wont be listening to this, nor reading this blog, but hey. thats life?!

Anyway, i should post, about how work is hell but funny, about how university is now confirmed. i should tell you about all the great things in my life like how i am me.
But im not, oh no.

Im going to write randomly, a scrible on the wall of life. Thats all i am, thats all the blog is, its a mark, a stain... a disturbance in the equalibrum which controls all of life. I hope im here, to upset stuff, to change things, to make things happen and to reap the effects, be they good or bad. What this means quite, i dont know. I only know that i feel something. There was a painting, "the scream". Its been stolen twice so far. Thats not my point, my point is the small lyric which comes with it.

I wandered along the road with two friends – the sun set – I felt a sort of sad breath of air – The sky suddenly turned blood red – I stopped, leaned towards the railing, dead tired – saw the blazing sky like blood and swords – the black and blue fiord and the city – My friends walked along – I stood there trembling with anguish – and I experienced a big endless scream through nature
The fact is, the painting its self, i dont respect. But sometimes, i feel that same scream, i felt it the other day in fact.... a few hours later, 2 russian planes crashed. I have only just realised this my self, im about to go check on a news site tos ee what time they crashed. I felt the scream at about 4:43pm GMT. i know this as i felt, it i told my girlfriend, i've felt this kind of thing before and tend to keep some kind of track of it. It hurts me though, it scares me.

OK freaky. 2 hours later 2 russian planes crashed in different places, at the same time =/

Anyway, everytime i read that quote, i feel a shiver... Just very strange.

Currently Listening to:
Word of the day:

-= Anon! =- Mail me! //

Tuesday, August 24

Cov uni

Im going to university! YEY!, i said i would write about what happened, and if i didn't then im sorry for repeating my self. But if you were a search engine, you would realise that this means that what im writing about is more important that the things i only write about once!.

It all started many yonks ago back when i started this blog. We (the students of the course) were told to do ucas forms, it was time to decide where we wanted to go. I was told to work out what courses i wanted to do, and where i wanted to do them... In the background the strong vibes which later meant i changed my decision at a split second could be heard, this vibes were of lecutures telling students that they SHOULD stay in the college, and that they would never make it at university. The number quoted to use, from a group of 18(ish) was that only TWO people in the whole group would do well at uni, and the rest of us might as well stay at college.

I at the time was very low and i took this to heart, i thought i could do nothing, and felt capeble of about the same. At the time i had older students telling me to go for it, from all walks of life, the one that finally made the difference, i remmber, was Amanda. She had been told like me that she wouldn't do well in university, and yet was enjoying it to the full. I knew her via my girlfriend and somehow see her as some sort of peer figure, for the fact that shes done the same route as me and i was following in her footsteps. She was also the odd one out of the group, choosing to stand out and voice her views as apposed to going with the crowd.
The final switching took along time, but i know now when i started to realise what i was doing. She came in one day and requested her work, as she needed it as she had a interview coming up. She had requested her work a few times before, and been ignored on all of them. After trying this many times to get her work, she asked someone higher up to help her, and then it was finally being sorted out, she went away some where forawhile and came back to ask for it. It was handed over to her, and then after the door, the comment of "Annoying stupid bitch" was said.

Now, i know people can have bad days, where everything goes wrong. But for ever Amanda had always had problems with this course, not that she didn't cause some of them, but some of them were defenintly NOT her choosing.

Anyway, this comment got me thinking, thinking so hard infact i started to see the cracks in the plan, i saw what the college was really like. This is what i discuss before... And then it hit me, i didnt' want to be here, i didn't enjoy it and it wasn't for me.
I decided i needed to do something different, after having my ideas of doing a Art Degree shot down, i went off this idea again *(i think maybe one day i might return)*. Instead i started looking at various courses, many of which were pretty crazy ideas, and then i turned around on something i had done for ages. I chose to do a course in something i enjoyed instead of something im good at.
I ended up chosing the HND in network computing. Which was kool and stuff but it gets even better now, i phoned up and rang in my results (After years of trying to sort that out) and the guy mentions that i have enought to do the Degree program instead. I mentioned that i had no previous experince in computing and he told me that i dont need it. How ever, i know that what experince i do have, should hopefully help \o/. So now im doing a dregree course and if i pass i get weird letters after my name!

Peace out people, still gotta set up P-radio tho =/

Mood: Happy
Currently Listening to: P-radio
Word of the day: MERIT!

-= Smiley! =- Mail me! //

Saturday, August 21


Once again i haven't posted for ages. Reasons which do not actually matter, i had a week of work. I played lots of . I just generally did fuck all, all week!

I just found a load of kool guys in quakenet, they are planning to run their own internet radio station. Looks like ill be allowed to join in too. If i am, and i think i will be, then ill hopefully use this as a place to drop reviews, links etc for you all to enjoy! is their website atm, but its still under work. Maybe visit them on #p-rock (quakenet) using

I have also modified lots of bits of my website, and in some places broke it also.

I need to look at buying a microphone for my PC, the one i have atm is off the old Cyrix 300. So thats kind of useless really. No pick up at all! Grrr!

Anyway, we shall see how this goes now.

P.S. I got merit merit pass in my btec, which means on monday or tuesday i can go down and get my place on the course!

When i have time i should really post the whole story about that, the phone calls and the stress, but not right now (and maybe never).

Mood: Happy
Currently Listening to: P-Radio!
Word of the day: PASS!

-= Anon! =- Mail me! //

Friday, August 6

Haven't done this in a while...

Mood: Happy.
Currently Listening to: Ash - Girl from mars.
Word of the day: Flake (don't ask why).

Hey, I just adopted a fetus!I adopted a cute lil' fetusfrom Fetusmart! Hooray fetus! how odd! Hmm, every one who writes in here always writes about something remotely interesting where as I write about how I adopted a fetus ¬_¬. Oh well, its better than writing nothing I guess.

I was reading this thing on the internet the other day which was advising young people to only eat fruit and vegetables and nothing else in order to not get spots =S. So you may not have spots but you would be anorexic. Yeah sure that's the answer, not. I do know a good way to remove all toxins though, you have to get about 20ml of sunflower oil and swill it around your mouth for 20 minutes (that's how long it for the blood to circulate around the body) and then all the toxins come out through your gums! I dont think it would taste very nice but hey!

hmm well I've got to go now. buh-bye xxx

-= Stacey =- Mail me! //

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