Saturday, November 5


Omg my world has turned into a world of moaning.

I shall explain, but first we search out the culprits. These guys (and girls) are all my flatmates, some are at university with me, others i've met there (and i know adam from school). There is a fair few who i know very little about (25 of us in total).

Cameron : Generally nice all round guy, plays slightly too many computer games and watches movies in his room sometimes, this added to his desire for nice blonde "birds" makes me chuckle some, but if anyone i would choose to be locked in a room with him. He would find a bright side.

Seth : Short guy with curly hair from the Isle of Mann (unconfirmed). Seth likes to be the center of whatever is happening, this combined with the fact that he doesn't have any idea of how much about him i know. He reminds me of colin, the fat fuck who likes to think hes right, and will change anything (mobile phone txt messages, recordings, or chat logs) to prove what he said was infact correct. Seth tends to claim he was right as a "joke" but im sure this slowly becomes his belief anyway. The number of times i've said something, which i KNEW was correct, and seth would then tell me im wrong, and i should know that he is right. One example was i was using xfce4 window manager in linux, then then claimed that i can't be, and the only existing window managers in linux were kde, and gnome. Any linux user knows this is bollocks, and that anyone could attempt to write their own window manager. This combined with loads of other crap he comes out with in uni has lead me to the point at which now i just discard anything he says.

- Infact its so bad i dont belive anything he says, he sounds like an american, he wont allow anyone to meet his brother (even though his brother was staying in the flat with us) or his parents. He would rather just walk randomly out of the house, and down the street, then come back a few hours later and claim he wanted a walk. (After i saw his mum go past.)

Adam : Adam's been a only child for a very long time, sadly his mum died when he was younger, and i've known him from school. This had lead him to think in some very strange ways, he will do various things which will make normal people just raise their eyebrows. If something is just lying about, its very likely adam will then pick it up, examine it, move it, leave it somewhere random. He also does various strange things, as one time he walked into my room, just before he was leaving, and started chatting with me, once he had gone i turned around, to find he had left a bag of rubbish in my room behind me. Why he didn't just take it out with him? No one knows. He also seems to exagirate hugely. This will be covered later.

Mandi : Mandi is one of my flatmates, whom i met when i moved in, a nice girl who seems pretty normal in many respects. She appears to be a close friend of lucy's, but this isn't for sure, as sometimes they appear to "not be talking". Mandi makes me laugh and shes fun! XD.

Lucy : Mandi's friend, and another of my flatmates. She LOVES to moan, this all started from teh first day when she said "the landlord has promised us that you dirty boys wont wee on the toilet seat". Now, it made me laugh, but jeeez. If anything isn't right, lucy will be letting us know, she moans about how the mirrors are dirty, the shower is dirty, the bed isn't comfy, how there is hair in the shower.......

Various other people who will randomly appear should be discribed here, but i dont care about them :D.

So, why am i stressed?

Well it all really started a long time ago, people were starting to move in and i guess lucy and mandi went out to celebrate. (I should point out that im out of the flat every second day pretty much, this is due to being at my gfs). So now we have seth, adam and cam all in the flat, doing whatever when lucy and mandi come home. Appently according to the various reports i've heard, adam had closed his door and gone to bed.
However, for some weird reason he hadn't locked his door, Lucy and mandi came up to find cameron in his room, they decided pretty quickly that he was boring (most prob playing DAoC) and so they tried seth and my door, in the process mandi acidently broke the I off my door ~(it says TIM). Appently then cam helped her fix it. After realising i wasn't in (and confirming they thought i was fun), they tried to get into adams room. As i guess they were noisey, the woke him up, he jumped out of bed and started pushing against the door.

Why he didn't lock the door and just go back to sleep is no ones idea. I have no idea why but heh, maybe he was dazed or something?

Just from this, it seems, caused the end of the goodness in the flat (according to adam at least)

From then on, their has been other events which have caused chaos of various levels in the flat, now i try and recite them....

Adam had decided by now that he didn't like living with everyone, and even though i got lucy to tell him they were drunk (they being lucy and mandi) he still held the fact that someone was trying to "annoy" him, or so it appears to me.

Now we were a few weeks in and lucy had been moaning about EVERYTHING, anything she could find to complain about (by comparing it to her old accomadation, which costs about 2x more).
What happened next was seth randomly proclaimed that "someone" was using his stuff, this later means alot with some of the random stuff that starts happening in the flat. However, for awhile seth wont confirm who is using his stuff, but just keeps saying "someone".
The next thing to happen was that lucys pasta bowl goes missing, this then causes her to moan at everyone, and she starts saying tha tfood has been taken too. A bottle of sprite has been drunk.

Over the next few weeks, there is various cases of food going missing, one person has a whole cuboard emptied (into seemly nowhere) and this is while she was away for the weekend, making me think it was someone which KNEW she was gone.

There is various people in the house, whom no one really knows, one guy with a stammer, and some guy on teh floor above me who always wares a backpack. Both these could of taken the food, but the fact that they are never socialising with us, means they shouldn't of known the girl was away.

At sometime around here, i return home one morning to hear a wonderful story, from Adam, he tells me that he had his door closed, because he was trying to work, and lucy and mandi were pretending to have sex with seth on cam's bed.

After this we once again hear from lucy, who has had someone using her ketchup......

About a week later, we all head down the pub one night. Amy starts texting seth from (new guy alert - john, large gay guy who seth says was using his stuff). Seth does his nobend thing and ignores it. Adam (who is always moaning that no one invites him anywhere) leaves because he has no money on him (he left it at home, 5seconds away!). John also leaves as hes hungry.... Nina is here for the last night so she says we should go to the campbell, and then we slowly walk though town and do this.

Awesome night at the campbell, even though i got a black eye.... me, nina and amy headed back at about 1:30(this is a random guess) and we get back to the flat at about 2, im talking with Nat and Mark for awhile, nina and amy disapper. John appears in a dressing gown and then says hes going to bed.

Amy and nina start laughing at them selfs by the door, and eventually nina leaves, i go to bed.... In the morning i listen as i can hear shouting just outside the door, John and Seth are arguing. (Now, seth has this weird thing where he decides that someone is pissing him off, and then he goes out of his way to upset them. He randomly did this to amy when she called him gay, by trying to make out he had a video of me saying something norty to mandi ). I sit and listen and wait as i can't be arsed to walk out of the door into a arguement, especially with my eye feeling as bad as it did.#

I wait like 10 minutes then i walk out, to find out that seth says someone has cleared all his stuff out of the cuboard, when i try and find out whats up with john, it looks like seth has gone off on one and blamed john (as he was using his stuff before). Seth rants on for awhile about how hes going to go and search everyones rooms, and hes going to email the landlord.

And now we are in the present, just a day after this magical disappering stuff seth had, hes not said a word about what happened, it doesn't look like hes contacted the landlord either, as he was here this morning and didn't say ANYTHING about it. Sound suspect anyone?

Also we have gilbert, he sits in his room, he moans on msn to me about how cam and seth just go off randomly, and dont invite him, seconds later, hes telling me how they txt him to ask if he was coming the aardvark. He says he can't be bothered and got a random text off a random number saying "your gay".
I tell him to ignore this and he starts going on about how lucy and mandi bang on his door (happened total of ONCE), then he goes on about lucy and mandi jumping on camerons bed (HAPPENED ONCE), and im like WTF? You keep your door closed, you dont bring any money to the pub, you wont go home to pick some money up and you wonder why people dont bother inviting you?


Currently Listening to:
Word of the day:

-= Anon! =- Mail me! //

Friday, November 4

My Ruin and Being 22!

On 1st Feb 2006, i shall be once again lining up outside the acadamy, no doubt it will be cold, wet and 'orrible, and ill be a year older!

But it will be worth it, im seeing my ruin again! \o/

On othernotes, im about to reinstall a stage 3 install of this box for amy, so that will be interesting

Mood: Happy
Currently Listening to: Nothing
Word of the day: Sync!

-= Anon! =- Mail me! //

Tuesday, May 24

Holidays can memerise

Its today, this morning, tonight.

When ever it is, its now?

Im bored, boinc is running fine but 3 projects down makes it no fun for me!
mandi is causing my brain to fry, evilness in its purest form! :D No, shes not really, but she is on so go and visit her and make her happy. Please?

Kirsten is leaving her boyfriend, thats a giant whoop you just heard from the community around her. I hate him, he treats her like shit and shes finally seen it.... Wether or not its because i've been telling her this (in my own sweet way) from the begining i dont know, but i do know that kate agreed with me. At first she thought i was wrong ( i think) but now i think she sees i was right all along. 1 - 0 me vs world ;).

Systems new album, mesmerise is totally awesome. Its alot less musical than toxicity, along a par with steal this album, but more volience and darkness spawns from this creation. Some of the songs however, are SO kool...

.....volient pornography, drunken chicks and sodomy, this is the kind of shit you get on your tv......

VERY system, most wonderful. i just hope they re-tour and come somewhere nearer coventry than london or manchester. However, if i hadn't seen them already this album would force me to travel even these vast distances.... on my knees, while tied to a truck going the otehr way.... over glass and pebbles.... and even little grit being growned up in my mouth.

My teeth are fucked, so i dont wanna go to the dentist! Im going to spain! weeeeeeee in 16(now) days. Woooo. its going to be kool, altho im not quite sure what the weather will be like, and amyse passport isn't back from being renewed so its kinda close :s...

I must stop muttering!

Mood: Ping!
Currently Listening to: Amy sleeping
Word of the day: Weeee

-= Anon! =- Mail me! //

Friday, May 20

Holiday! Exam (boo) - NO MORE UNI!

It seems like only a few months, and yet it feels like i've known Seth and Cameron for a lifetime. Next September we will be residing together. Scared? I AM!

Well, i took the last exam, it really did go as badly as i expected. I wont go into details but if i get like 15% i will be supprised. Why did it go so badly? Well it was a combination of various problems, the fact that the lectures were rubbish, so much so that we stopped going after the first term, combined with the fact that the lecturers were also rubbish!

They were covering stuff we knew, so why did we fail? Well, after some investigation it seems that NO ONE, not even the guys who i think will be the honours and extra students had much idea what to expect in this exam. It was a total mess.


Mood: Angry
Currently Listening to: Nothingness
Word of the day: GRR

-= Anon! =- Mail me! //

Friday, April 29

Heh, well it was bound to happen with my lack of study, and it did, it hit me hard too.

I always wanted to network, i loved networking and always thought that would be the route i finally took. now? Its still my route and its where i am going, except im without the ccna 2 cisco qualification, which also means i fail the module *(i think?)*.

Bummer in the major style, but hopefully, as we all find as we leave school and start college, or leave college and start university and this little trip wont stop us on the major run into what slowly becomes our life. We choose our routes depending not on our sucessess, but on our failures to compile to what normal life takes to be the "norm". We break the mould and instead of being propled forwards, we are left behind.

This isnt' what happened to me however (sadly!), instead, i thought i would be ok, i thought i knew what i was doing and i thought i had more knowledge that i actually have. BIG mistake. BIG BIG mistake.

When i rechecked over the paper before we went into the test, i realised that i knew nothing about what we were meant to be doing. I had known it in the labs, but in the labs we always had the piece of paper to look back upon and check.
Now its 2morrow and as i think back, i can name exactly what was wrong, The subnet on the workstation was wrong, the serial cable wasn't plugged in. Bummer!

Hopefully this wont bring me down, i can still do this, i can still be true. Plus i have my level 1 ccna!. Least i got something. Plus, lots of experence!


Peace out

Mood: Pi$$ed OFF
Currently Listening to:Offspring - Smash - Album
Word of the day: HairDO!

-= djsmiley! =- Mail me! //

Monday, March 28

OMFG go me \o/

every other game works
--Smiley -- Loves -- Lostpea -- Pink and Fluffy? says:
cept one
--Smiley -- Loves -- Lostpea -- Pink and Fluffy? says:
and its still the routers fault?
--Smiley -- Loves -- Lostpea -- Pink and Fluffy? says:
truth is one day your computer will get owned. it will be wrecked in one way or another. But because you like to NEVER be wrong, you will claim that you dont care and are planning to format anyway.
because thats what you do, you make it so your never wrong, you make your self belive your lies, you dont like the world, and the truth is the world doesn't like you. Its a harsh harsh place and you
--Smiley -- Loves -- Lostpea -- Pink and Fluffy? says:
know you wont survive, so instead you much change it, at least in your mind, so that you can. You think its going to be easy. Well i know better than that. You think that staying in education will save you from work, Oh how wrong you are. How so very wrong you are.
- - [ I'll show you me fanny if you want? ] says:
i like everything, i just dont need a router
--Smiley -- Loves -- Lostpea -- Pink and Fluffy? says:
Maybe you should wonder why im the top student in my class, its not because i claim im always right, its because i listen and learn, when i get something wrong i dont change what i did. i accept i was wrong and i change what i do in the future, its called learning, its even called evolution, its something we all must do, or we die, we all die out. that would be such a shame.

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Word of the day:

-= Anon! =- Mail me! //

Routers Vs Generals?

There is a game, in the C&C series, called Generals. My friends used to play it, i tried.

its flawed in the most stupid way, yet it seems EA refuse to fix it. This, doesn't bother me as i dont play the game, but i have to watch teh constant bickering between two people..... As they argue about whether they should have a router or not =/.#]


Currently Listening to:
Word of the day:

-= Anon! =- Mail me! //

Sunday, March 13

Humans are scared...

Alien sightings...

The universe is infinte, ok, its NOT actually infinte but for the presence of any person in todays world it might as well be, due to the fact they could never escape it in the possible given time frame.
Life IS out there, oh yes, i know it is, its an impossiblity that it isn't.

But at the same time, i dont think anyone has yet met "aliens", WHY? Because i belive what the humans that think they have met something, is also the same effect which i belive causes people to see things, to halucenate and generally act very strange.

It all comes down to this idea i had one day, when i was thinking about out of body experinces and how i had one once when i was ill. I suddenly realised that it is possible that all the people that are locked up in "mental hospitals" arn't actually insane of a thought, they are merely lacking in some kind of drug in their minds. I belive that our minds have a drug which helps seperate dreams, and the subconcious from the coucious "live" mind, which sees and hears and makes us react each and every time we do anything.
What i suddenly realised was that maybe, these people lacked the chemcial which made both of these seperate, and that it would explain why they see and do the things they do. In our dreams we are unlimited, and so our minds are too, we are free from the constraints of a "normal" world. Imagine that you found this in the "real" world, that you found there was no constrains and nothing to hold you back. Then add to this the problem of stuff that could appear in your dreams, no matter how realistic or not, suddenly starts appearing in "real" life.

When you start to think of this, its not wonder people go "insane".

Now, people are scared, scared of what? They are scared of dying out, we as a race wish to thrive, we wish to spread and expland and continue onwards. Also, when we can't do something, we just stop, we become dispondent and basicly usless. We could be dead and it would make no difference. The brain is more than something that keeps us alive, its something that gives us a reason to live. It protects its self in many ways, and this is why the human race is still around now.

Although the histories of time, humans have searched for mythological creatures, animals which never could of existed, at least, not in "real" life, but maybe in the minds of those who imagined them. I think these are cases of the brain protecting its self, making sure that the human race doesn't realise that there is "nothing else".

I think that alien sightings are just another example of this, when a person "sees" an alien, it REALLY happens to them, and only the deepest subconcious part of the brain, creating this image, knows otherwise. When humans suddenly realise that we are alone in the galaxy at least, and we CANT get out, not in our lifetimes at least, then the brain strifes to protect its self, and save its self. It does this by creating hope, it gives the person an illusion of something which proves there is hope, and then the person belives.

Maybe im a mad ranting loonly, or maybe my brains just worked it out!

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-= Anon! =- Mail me! //

Friday, February 4

Health and safey eh? Fuck that!

It happens to everyone, we have the stupid "Health and Safety Poster" making thing in school, few years later you have it again... in college....

I never thought they would have me doing it in website form in UNI!

My comments on a uni message board :

As students, we DON'T care about health and safety, its simply not "Cool" to care about such things as these. People only take notice after the fact that someone has been hurt happens, and then its to see if they can blame someone.

Websites are normally passive items (i.e. you CHOOSE to view a website,
as aposed to a poster, which is hanging on a wall and you generally dont
choose to go a different route to avoid a poster!), and so no one will
actively choose to view the infomation contained within unless forced to
Just think about ELUA's, they are legal binding documents, yet who ever
bothers to read them ?

Its only afterwards when they are being sued by
Company X for reverse enginering their programs that they notice line
200,003 which says this is prohibited.

Im not attacking you Peter, nor do i have anything against what you are
trying to teach, i think so far that the lectures have been wonderful, i
am enjoying them greatly (even though i know 90% of the stuff already),
because of the energy and and effort you put into them, and so, i tend to
try and give back the same amount of effort in my homeworks, and
courseworks ~(even when i forget to hand them in!), but sadly, i doubt
this coursework will be gaining much of my attention, because its
something i've covered way too many times before."

Mood: happyish
Currently Listening to: fans
Word of the day: Conker

-= Anon! =- Mail me! //

Monday, January 24

Hey everyone,

sometimes we have little people on the net that annoy us, well i have one and shes plain annoying. The whole fact that she has NO idea wtf she is going on about, causes me much amusement and is the reason i dont just block her and forget about her. I would rather teach the little bitch a lession and show her that there is many things to fear in life, and i should be one of them. Not for my power or "Skillz" but the idea that i, belive in karma, and the power of 3, and that eventually anything she does will come back to her, simple as can be.

So let it be known from this day, that now is truely annoying, please feel free to email her, spam her, annoy her in any way possible, she loves p0rn spam and will happily have you sign her up for any type of mailing list ever.



Sometimes it seems, people do read my site, they have seen my message and came running in their millions, this new attack involves 14year olds, who amazingly with their limited knowledge of the world this one goes by the email of : .

It seems its really pissed them off, so now they have started telling people that im doing something on cam, or something like this as im having people add me. Wow, scary.


Oh these guys are so hardcore im scared, they are doing punky hardcore stuff like putting my address out in chat rooms and saying im doing stuff on cam XD, funny or what ;)

keep it coming guys.

Currently Listening to:
Word of the day:

-= Anon! =- Mail me! //

Sunday, January 23

Honkey Donk...

Im bored, but im happy.

At least i think im happy, about 2 years ago, i quit taking antidrepressants. Why? Because they were messing with my head. They would turn me into a zombie and i couldn't do, nor care about anything. Its so strange to try and explain it, and no matter how hard anyone tries, the only way to really let someone know what it is like, is if they themselfs take the same drugs, and feel the same feelings.

Now im on the opposite of the swing, problem is i care about way too much once again, this has always been my flaw, that i care, and will protect anything and anyone i belive in. No matter what the reason is i will be there fighting on their side, even if i haven't spoke to them in years.
Its stupid really, the amount of people i will put my self out for, for many reasons its stupid, but the most important one is that most of these people never know or realise, or maybe even care how far i would go for them. Another problem with this, is the fact that if your putting so much into something, you expect something back. When people dont realise this is happening, they dont give anything back.
This causes me problems, as it makes me... feel unwanted, distraught, upset, confused. So many feelings and no outlet is not a good thing.

People say "oh tell your girlfriend your feelings", but my girlfriend isn't part of this, this is my personal development, and even though i develop with my girlfriend and grow, this doesn't mean that my whole life must evolve around one point.

Try my life, and then tell me im wrong.

Currently Listening to:
Word of the day:

-= Anon! =- Mail me! //

Saturday, January 22

Disassembly @ the Jailhouse!

Thats right, the most crazy mentally unstructured reveloution of music to hit the place farest from the sea, Coventry, tonight is once again back for another gig.

This time Disassembly is at Coventrys Jailhouse and it shall be a good time for all, the lineup is totally confused at the moment due to one set pulling out because of illness, but no matter the night will go on!.

Enjoy and i might be there \o/

Mood: Hungover
Currently Listening to: Rumbles from my rooom....
Word of the day: Pubnked

-= Smiley! =- Mail me! //

Friday, January 14

People taking the mind to take notice of what they say

It happens everyday, to everyone, unless of course your dead. Mothers and Child, brother and sister, people in the traffic, teachers and pupils, even maybe the lollypop lady.

Each and every day people say things, and without meaning it, hurt someones feelings. This is a problem which hit me suddenly the otherday and faced me with a dialema which nearly changed my life, and the way i looked at things forever. Scariest thing of all? It was from someone i never expected it. The normally most plascid, calm, nice, young lady i know, and in a moment, she said something, which for a few days had shattered my world.

What she said i wont repeat, for many reason, i dont have her permission, i dont remmber exactly, and there is no need for this. But this, while it was probrerly a joke, or a case of the internet malforming the meaning of sentances but still, it upset me and crushed me deep down somewhere.

Now that i look back, i talk to people who know the accused, they agree, it was all proberly a joke gone wrong. Nice thing about this is the accused will never know what pain they caused, and if my assertations are correct, this may oneday lead to the idea of a pain free world, i mean, if all the pain drains away, surely thats a GOOD thing? I like to think so!.
So now, i sit here in my bedroom, my brothers falling asleep behind me, his head resting on the corner of my bed, i have just noticed the strangest of things.

The way i type is quite relaxed, and i tend to lean back, this means my hands are nearly always in the same place on the keyboard, and i can reach the letters without even thinking about it. Strange thing is, even as i think about what im writing, i dont actually think about any of the letters, i tell my hands to type the word, and they work out the rest. Crazyness. Anyway, my hands sitting in the same place has caused a few things to happen. Least of all i get RSI, repetive strain injury. This can be a bit of a annonce but nothing more, i keep off typing for long periods of time for a few days and it goes away.
The second thing is that the dirt on this keyboard is amazing, its got its own shapes and imprints, nothing can surive the pressure of my fingers rapidly thrashing around hitting the various keys and so they shine, so brightly, yet the sides of the keys are a deep dirty grey colour. Also a few letters have warn away.

But the biggest thing i noticed, was while i was looking at how the dirt is embedded into the keyboard, that in the space bar, there is a dent. Now this is no small dent, this is quite an impact, and it looks like its been left by my thumb, which i use on its side to type spaces. As this is a totally plastic key'ed keyboard, i think this is quite kool!

No one has a keyboard quite like this one! =)

Mood: confused
Currently Listening to: ff10 music
Word of the day: finger.

-= Anon! =- Mail me! //

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